tough stuff

Do you ever think about how delicate life really is? How many different events have lead up to you being here, right now, at this present moment? What if your parents had never met, or your mom ended up marrying that ex-boyfriend.. What if?

I found out yesterday that one of my favorite teacher's daughter killed herself the other day.. and it came as a huge shock. I cannot fathom what her family is going through or what was going on in her mind. Having been 15 (and God knows we all go through that stage), I can understand how difficult life can be sometimes, especially for a teenage girl. So many things to worry about-- whether it be school, boys, appearance, and all that other non important stuff.. but it was around 15 when my mind started to really expand and I would think about the tough stuff-- the reason for existence and purpose in life, the questions, "Why are we here? Why am I here? What is the point to life?" And those can be some of the scariest questions to ask yourself. Granted, I haven't seen her in a number of years and I don't know if that's what was really going on.. but it hurts my heart to think that she had no more hope in the world and couldn't see the beauty in the life God had given her.

"Doctor: What are you doing here, honey? You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets. 

Cecilia: Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl." --The Virgin Suicides

I apologize if that put a damper on anyone's day, but it was consuming my mind yesterday...

And I apologize even more that I'm going to jump into two completely other subjects, not trying to make the above less important.. actually, nevermind. Not apologizing, this is my blog, my thoughts and if others care to indulge in them, then they very well may.

Continuing on

On our last day in Maui we toured one of my favorite parts of town.. I hate using that word, "toured," mainly because I don't like to consider myself a tourist. Hi, I'm not wearing a fanny pack, bumping into everything, losing my way and being obnoxious (or at least I don't think..) I'd like to consider myself more of a "traveler of the world" a nomad of sorts, maybe even a gypsy soul? Ha, yeah, let's go with that. So we didn't actually take a tour, but we shopped around, a lot, and met some of the most interesting people.

There's this huge banyan tree that is the kind of center & heart of the town, Lahaina. Yesterday there was a swap meet going on with all sorts of goodies.. jewelry, paintings, tiki sculptures and ocarinas. 

If you are the cute ocarina playing boy that inconspicuously took a picture of me on his phone.. Please, GET AT ME. I was too shy to actually say hi.

Returning home to California today, not sure how I feel about going back to school at the moment.. Although I am excited to get back to making stuff with my new found inspiration!

 I started working on a ton of shirt designs, am scouting for high waisted jean shorts, and am going to be purchasing a bulk supply of beads/chains.

 TO DO list:

-Make these RunwayDreamz inspired bad boys with Jenna from thefreckledhusky

 -These bracelets with my girl Lexi, check out her brand new blog alwayssprout

-Finish redesigning my room and actually decide on colors.. kind of digging these as wall hangers?

wednes-diy free people

I'm o b s e s s e d with the body chains + harnesses that Ashley of purse 'n boots frequently rocks.. 'cept I'm not spending $150 on one. So, I'm gonna be making my own! 

(pc fashiontoast, pursenboots, planetblue,  freepeople)

If all goes well, I'll end up adding some to my blog shop!

 This post has been all over the place.. ending it on a lighter note, going to go join my fam for Easter breakfast now and then I'm leavin' on a jetplane for the mainland. Goodbye Maui, hello California.

All I can do is look up and say, "thank you."